IF...

Somtimes, I just sit by this window...looking out at the world going by...and wonder why, and how...

it seems to be going so much faster now.

It didn't used to be this way.

Hey, I'm still young and full of life...

(In my mind and imagination...and...)

The steamy hot elixir for my soul comes wafting up from my cup...as I sit here and contemplate...what?

Where is my ladder?

I want to...CLIIIIIMB...up to where that eagle flies.

Swoop and curve and FLY...

Maybe not today.

It's hard to climb that ol' ladder...with these arthritic knees.

Please. How did that happen?

I can hear the snappin' now and again. When? Did that...

Pah. No matter. Tomorrow that will all be gone...and I will do that climb thing. On a wing of pure steel, and hi-creative stuff, I will fluff that cloud over there...

SWOOP down and scare all those old folks...those slo-pokes...those, sigh. Such as I.

A tear begins to...

NO!

C'mon MIND....WE CAN...

Hand over my agility...just one more time...

I'll show those young whippers..

Snippers of...something.

I don't remember now.

How...did....?

Only yesterday, it was...when me and my oh so wondrous dreams...

WE...were the HIT of the neighborhood.

I stood...at the precipice of life...and chewed off a hunk,

and RANNNN...to the end of the block...AND BACK...

Now, I lack the energy, stamina, BREATH...to get that far...

TOMORROW, though...I will...by cracky.

Snacky on dreams...and those reams of things I always meant to do...

Few did I actually begin...even less did I...do to...the end...

Why?

I knew life was short.

C'mon sport. Reel them all back in...and, THIS time...

Sigh.

The steam from my coffee...titillates my nostrils...wiggles the hairs in my nose..

God knows...I can still wiggle other parts of me...

Just not as often, or as well...but, BY GOD...

Tomorrow...OH YES I WILL...YOU'll see...oh you doubters of my ability to seize the challenge of a life WAY too devoted to the things that I THOUGHT were OH SO important...

and YET...

Now...

Now...

Life is not fair.

Where was ALL this wisdom, and all this knowledge...WAY BACK WHEN I needed it...but all I had then was youthful exuberance. But, no wisdom. Only zeal...and NO IDEA what it should be used for.

I was in that trance they call adolescence...way into my forties.

I WOULD LIVE....or at least exist...FOREVER...

Never would I...be....

what I have now become.

OH NO...

I, kind sirs and madames...

I, was gonna FLY....like that EAGLE UP THERE....

until HELL froze over...

Does one detect a chill in here? Or is it just me....

I pull my blanket up to my chest...and rest my weary head..on the place where old wishes and dreams go to play.

HEY!

AT THE BEHEST OF ME, JUST BECAUSE...

I DEMAND A RECOUNT...

NO?

Pfui.

That, dear ones, is a lot of HOOEY...

I'm JUST as good as I EVER was...

Just...not quite as...agile...

or spry...

WHY?

Why didn't I DO the things that are truly: 1) fun 2) challenging 3) fun 4) educational without being boring 5) fun

Pfui again. When will I ever learn...

I KNOW......

I will RUN...back and do ALL of them...one at a time, or all together...I KNOW I CAN...

Tomorrow. Yep. That is what I surely will do. Tomorrow...a wonderful place...where ALL your dreams come true. Next to yesterday, it's the most exciting place...a space where nothing is impossible, just barely out of reach. Teeech? How do I get back there?

Weary, I feel.

Even just the thought of all that thrashing about...

But, by all that is holy...I'm ASSUREDLY gonna rout the good times, and TAKE THEM....to the sky...

where that Eagle soars...

scores one for the gipper...

'Who was he again?'

"Yes?"

Sorry, you must excuse me. It's time for my pill. Open mouth, pop in that swill, and swallow..while I wallow in my memories...and wonder...

What WILL tomorrow truly bring?

SPRING...in my step.

Volley on to the next big step on the ladder.

RUN to the next milestone in the race.

ROAR to the next place where I shall end up...with my cup full of ideas...screaming all the way with joy...

BOY, does that sound like...

work. Sigh.

You know?

It may sound like I am feeling a tad sorry for myself...here on the shelf of life, but...

actually, it hasn't been all that bad.

Oh, there have been a few bumps...and grinds, hehehe

A mountain or two. Few, really.

More hilly than anything else.

Felts the wind in my face more than once...as I....

Wish I could remember...

Do you?

Yep, I guess...all in all, for all my new-found sense of wisdom that I SHOULD have had way back then...but...

I can't complain.

I have this window, don't I.

Food, caring friends. My books. Music.

AND, I STILL HAVE MY DREAMS...

MY HOPE...

Nope, that ain't gone. Not yet..

Thet is foah sure.

MY hope?

My hope is that all those young just-startin'-outs...out there...will hear me...and see..

you gotta grasp it all while you can.

But, they never do hear, do they?

Did we, my old friend?

Huh?

When some 'OLD' person tried to tell US?

We made a fuss and didn't pay NO mind...

I find that actually pretty funny, but honey?

That's just the way I guess.

Ok, Less and more...the score is even...fair to say...

So, I'll just sit here and enjoy the view for now..

and, how about tomorrow?

What you say, dear one, that we go kick some swooping eagle butt...

and crack open a nut of wondrous things...have some flings...and then we can come back and take our pills, and our naps...

Snuggle close.

That I can still do, right?

DAMN right.

I can cuddle with the best of them. Better than those young upstart knuckleheads anyday. I got LOTS of practice.

Oh yes I...

better mention just one more thing before I take my nap.

Love. That's the ticket...to wonder...

I'm kinda fonder of that magic...

Tragic that so few ever truly find it, huh.

But, as they say...that's they way life goes...

and goes...

and...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Snorrffle..

Tomorrow, BY GOD...Tomorrow,

IF I can get these knees to work,

and my mind to be clear...

and...

I can bring you back from the sky...

Why? Honey?

Why did you have to go and leave me here...where I don't seem to know what to do anymore...

without your smiling face, and your loving arms...and...

Ahhh yes. Tomorrow, I'm gonna get out that trusty ol' ladder...

and I am gonna climb..ALL the way to where you are...

Cause...I miss you so...SO much...I miss your touch, my precious...It always did warm me and push the cobwebs and bad stuff away...

Oh, before I forget...

Or...

Wait...

I can't seem to...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yep, tomorrow...IF...

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

'IF...'

Written 03/27/07 by Dustybear

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED